She's Awake
by FuckYeahVauseman
Summary: An accident can erase a whole life from the memory. Can Regina and Emma find each other again? Long story about love, want, friendship and heartache. WARNINGS: Angst. Smut. F/F. Swanqueen is endgame.


**Present Day**

"She's awake, but-"

Regina all but ran to the office-door when she heard Snow speak those words through the phone. Her Emma was finally awake after being in a coma for a month. A month of long evenings at the hospital after her work as mayor, a month of not wanting to get into a cold bed, alone, a month of an empty house, with only Henry as company. Henry whom she loved very much, Henry who missed his Ma so very much. Emma was finally awake and could finally come home.

Regina arrived at Storybrooke Medical Centre in no time and ran the steps towards the second floor. She couldn't keep the tears from flowing when she came to a stop at the door of room 2.14 and saw her Emma awake, and smiling at Charming. Holding her breath she stepped in the room, walked towards Emma and hugged her tight.

"I love you, I love you. I missed you so much!". Regina kept uttering those words, not wanting to ever let go of her Emma again. But when she tried to kiss Emma's temple she sensed something was wrong. She slightly pulled back to look at Emma's face and saw nothing. Literally a face empty of emotion. Regina pulled back like she burned herself.

"Emma? What's wrong?".

"Regina! You're already here!". Snow's voice was loud when she entered the room. Regina couldn't look away from Emma, who didn't seem like Emma at all. Emma, who looked at her with this strange look in her eyes, almost scared. She felt a hand on her arm ushering her out of the room, into the hall outside the room.

"What the hell is wrong Snow? Why didn't she react when I hugged her? Is she paralysed?" Regina couldn't take it anymore. Now that her wife was finally awake, she wasn't here. She wasn't better.

"Regina, I'm so sorry to tell you, but Emma doesn't remember anything. She didn't remember her own name, doens't know where she is, has no idea who we are -" she pointed to herself and Charming " - so I don't think she knows who you are. Or Henry."

Regina slumped against the wall en slid down to the floor. Her tears of happiness changed to tears of incredible sadness. She heard herself ask what the docters had to say about it.

"Dr. Whale said is is common after the trauma she experienced there will be memoryloss, but not as extensive as hers. He thinks that maybe some triggers will get her memory working, but so far we had no success".

"Maybe if I take her home, maybe she will see our life and remember it…"

"Regina, she doesn't know she is married. She doesn't know she has a son. She doesn't know she lives in a big mansion with you".

"If you think I'm not taking her home..-" Regina started, but Snow cut her off.

"She doesn't love you Regina. This new Emma doesn't know I'm her mom, you're her wife and Henry her son. We cannot force that upon her. She needs time! Do you think I find it easy to tell her me and Charming are friends of hers? Of course not! She will freak out if she finds out that she and her mom are the same age! Dr. Whale said we cannot make her confused right now, for she is confused enough by all this. We sure as hell can't tell her yet who we really are."

"So I can't tell her she and I are married? I can't tell her she has a son with me? She probably doesn't even know that she's into women," Regina started to feel sick.

She looked down at her hands and saw her ring. Her wedding ring, the one Emma got for her on a secret trip to Boston, the one she gave to her, sitting on one knee on their front porch, because that was the place she fell in love with Regina the first time she saw her, she said. She pulled the ring from her finger en put it in the pocket of her coat. Snow gasped, but said nothing about it. Regina wiped away her tears, stood up straight, took a deep breath and turned on her heel, into the room where a total stranger took place in the body of her love.

...

"Soooo….you're a good friend of mine, and I live with you and your son?" Emma looked at her with her brow wrinkled in confusion, "because?". _Because I love you and we're married._

"Because," Snow answered, "you are saving money to buy your own place. First you lived with David and me, but we got your broth- a son so it got kinda small. That is when Regina offered to you to stay with her and Henry. And you've lived there for the past five years".

Tears fell from Regina's cheeks silently. Five years. And all their years before that. Their dates, their fights, their love, their passionate nights, Emma didn't remember anything of it. And now Regina got to take her home. To a place she didn't know, a place where she used to play with their son, where she used to do the small maintenance because she liked it, the place where she and Regina built their life. The place where they made love on every surface, where they couldn't look at the kitchencounter without a smirk on their faces.

"Why are you crying?" Emma's wonderful voice waked her from her thoughts. Regina couldn't answer. _Because I love you and you don't love me._ "She is just happy that you're awake," Charming offered. Regina nodded, but Emma didn't seem to believe it. Even if she didn't, she let it go and started to bombard Snow with questions again about Storybrooke, her job, her friends, her hobbies.

At 6pm dr. Whale came to tell Emma that she was allowed to go. Snow looked at Regina with questioning eyes, but Regina just nodded. She knew she had to take Emma home. And as much as she wished for this moment to come in the past month, she could feel nothing but incredible sadness.

...

The car ride home was short and quiet. Emma seemed to be content with just looking out the window and see Storybrooke 'for the first time' as she said it. But when Regina parked her Benz in the driveway Emma eyes widened in shock. "You forgot to tell me you're a millionaire who lives in a huge mansion?".

"Well, millionaire not so much, but our house is kind of big".

"Our house?" Emma asked.

"My house I mean, I'm sorry I'm so used to you living here that I called it ours".

"Well, if it was mine…," Emma had a childlike glint in her eyes. Like a five-year old who wanted to play hide and seek in every room. A thing they actually did once in a while when she and Henry had persuaded Regina to compete. Which always resulted in thank-you-sex after Henry had gone to bed. Regina shook her head to get these thoughts away, she shouldn't think about sex with Emma right now.

She got out of the car and opened the trunk to take out the wheelchair. Emma didn't have any physical issues after her accident, but laying on her back for a month took away all her strength and stamina. She opened the door on the passengerside and waited for Emma to come out.

Emma pushed herself up with her arms to sit on the far side of the carseat and looked from her own legs to the wheelchair and back. Then she looked at Regina with helpless eyes.

"Can you help me? I can't get out".

Regina tentatively stuck out her hand and Emma grabbed it. Fire exploded from her nerve-endings and hit her full force. She hadn't really touched Emma in a month and she couldn't help but let a small groan fall from her lips. _I missed you._ Luckily Emma didn't notice as she hoisted herself in the wheelchair.

Regina rolled the wheelchair through the door and took a sigh of relieve. She was home. It feels good to have Emma home again, maybe there are some triggers to help her remember.

Emma looked around the hall, trying to take it all in. The round stairs to the second floor, the big French doors towards the diningroom, the very large mirror hanging on the left wall and, at last, the coat rack with an excessive amount of jackets on it. Regina must like a different jacket with each outfit, because she didn't think she would mind wearing the same jacket everyday. There were also some childs jackets and that is the first time she wondered where Regina's son was.

"Henry is on a campingtrip with school, due to return in two days," Regina aswered, before Emma could even ask. "He will be delighted to say you're awaken. He was very worried."

Emma didn't know what to say. It was sweet some kid was worried about her, but right now she doesn't know what he even looks like. Her thoughts got interrupted by loud grumbling in her belly. Regina snickered, "Well, some things haven't changed at all," before wheeling her to the kitchen.

Emma just looked around. The house was clean. Very clean. Little did she know that the only thing Regina had done the past month was cleaning. Cleaning everything, because it kept her mind of the cruelling thought what would happen if Emma would not wake up.

Regina put some pans on the stove and started mixing some things together, so Emma started to roll herself around in the house. Some photoframes on a sidetable got her attention and soon she looked at them intently. The first one was Regina with a 5-year-old boy. Brown hair, not as dark as his mother's, but with a beaming smile that could cure world-hunger. The second one was, so Emma thought, a few years later. The boy, Henry probably, was about 12 years old, had a stubborn look on his face. Regina was there too, she kissed him on the cheek with a loving face. The third picture contained one more person, and Emma was surprised when she saw herself. She and Regina both hugged Henry sideways while he was slurping a cup of milkshake.

The last picture shocked her. It was only her and Regina. The were standing towards eachother with their foreheads touching. And they were looking at each other so lovingly Emma couldn't help but feel incedibly sad. In that picture, Emma saw that Regina had lost her very best friend. She wondered when it was taken, because Regina didn't look very different from the picture. Just as she tried to turn around with her chair she heard a loud bang and the smack of a plate falling to pieces on the floor.

Regina looked at the picture in her hands with her mouth agape. Emma wasn't supposed to see that. She started to tremble, and immediatelty felt sick. Emma was holding the picture they took on the first day of their honeymoon and she didn't remember it. She didn't remember the vows they made, the trip they took to Hawaii, the love they made on the beach. Regina all but ran to the toilet and threw out her stomachcontents of her light lunch earlier that day at the hospital. Still heaving, she wiped her face and returned to the diningroom, where she left Emma in shock.

"Regina, tell me, what is wrong?," she started. "Are you ill?"

"No dear, I'm fine. Just a memory that shook me a little," Regina's voice was cold. She felt herself getting dark, by blocking her emotions out. They way she did so many years, before Emma came along. Emma who made her see the light though all the darkness she embedded herself in. Regina could feel herself slip away.

"Your dinner will be ready in a sec, go sit at the table dear," Regina said while walking towards the kitchen again. A few minutes later she returned with a plate with some grilled vegetables, thin pasta and bolognaise sauce. It smelled delicious and Emma digged right in. "Tell me about my life, will you?," she asked between mouthsfull of food.

Regina sighed, and pondered where to start and what to tell. She decided to tell the truth, for as far as she could. "You were born an orphan…"

...

Regina told her about her orphanages, how she got adopted a few times but always walked away, about her time in jail, when she got her tattoo (she didn't tell Emma about her pregnancy), about her life as a bailbondsperson. She could tell Emma was tired, so when she finished her plate she offered to take her upstairs and put her to bed. Emma nodded and slumped back in her chair. Regina wheeled her to the stairs but then realised quickly there was a problem. "Emma….I can't get your chair up the stairs," she said, quickly realising that she would have to carry her, but she didn't want to push Emma's boundaries. Her fears were quickly gone when Emma just stuck out her arms and waited for Regina to pick her up, which was the best but also the worst decision she made today.

The best because there was no other way to get Emma up the stairs. The worst because now she could feel Emma against her whole body. With her arms around her back en under her knees, holding her tightly. Emma's face was pressed against her neck, and she could feel the little puffs of breath in her ear. Regina shuddered and had to compose herself, before she would turn her face and kiss her beautiful wife. She shook her head and tried not the feel the way Emma's right breast pressed against her own, and they way Emma clinged to her with her arms around her neck. After two agonizing minutes she made it to their bedroom and put Emma down on the bed.

"The bathroom is through this door," Regina started, while pointing to the door left of the entrance, "and the other door is the closet. Do you -" she was interrupted by light snoring coming from the bed. Regina's face softened. She grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around Emma. She switched the pillows, so Emma was laying on her own and switched off the bedside lamp.

Regina wanted to help her put on her pajamashirt but she didn't know how this Emma would react if Regina took off her clothes, so she let her sleep in her sweatpants and t-shirts that she left the hospital with.

Wanting nothing more than to crawl into their bed with her, Regina retreated from their bedroom and made her way to the guestbedroom. She put on the silk night gown and laid down in the bed. Not as soft as her own and definitely not as warm. Her body yearned for Emma, and she was just laying one room away. The past month has been excruciating, but being so close so far away was even worse. Sobs started to wreck her body. This isn't fair. Her happy ending got taken away again. Her love didn't remember her anymore. Regina didn't realise how tired she was until she felt her eyes fall closed and fell asleep with tears falling from her eyes.

 **One month ago**

Regina fell back onto the mattress panting and heaving. _Holy sweet mother of the lord._ She heard Emma snicker under the blankets and Regina laughed when her proud face appeared from under. "So I take that it was good?," she informed with a playful smile on her face. Regina just smiled and kissed her, she moaned when she tasted herself on Emma's lips. Still out of breath she pulled away. "And that's why you're a bottom my love," she heard Emma say. Hell no, she was a queen. Queens are no bottoms. She quickly rolled over on top of Emma en groaned when she felt their breasts press together. "Oh am I now? I didn't hear you complain about it when I made you come 7 times, Miss Swan".

"Oh, we're back to Miss Swan again? Well, your Majesty -" she started while thrusting her pelvis up. Regina groaned when she felt Emma's wetness on her thigh, "- you may be the boss of everybody as mayor, but in here, we know who's boss." She strenghtened her statement by pushing her leg up between Regina's, connecting with her core. Regina moaned at the pressure and before she knew it she was turned around and thrown on her back again.

"But I don't mind, your Majesty, you're the hottest bottom there is," Emma purred before licking Regina from her clavicle to her ear. Regina shuddered and pulled Emma closer with her hands on her ass. "Eager for round two aren't we?," Emma whispered in her ear, but didn't follow through. Even worse, she climbed of the bed and darted to the bathroom. "I'm going for a run! Can you behave and wait for me until I get back?," Regina could hear Emma grinning. Emma jumped out of the bathroom in her tracksuite, gave Regina a quick kiss and bolted out of the bedroom and the frontdoor.

Regina took a few moments to return her heartbeat and breathing to normal. She didn't understand how Emma could have two hours of amazing sex _and_ go for a run. Maybe Emma was right; Regina was a bottom. But only with Emma, she reasoned, the Queen didn't let anyone top her.

She put on her blue bathrobe and made her way downstairs. She turned on her coffee-machine and waited for the brew to finish, while reading the morning paper that Henry left on the counter before he went to school. She took her first sip of her freshly brewed coffee when her phone rang. Wondering who would call her on her day off, she picked up the phone.

"This is Regina," she answered it.

"Miss Swan-Mills, I need you to stay calm, but Emma has been in an accident. She is in the ER at Storybrooke Medical Centre and we need you to come, it is bad…"

Her coffeecup clattered on the floor and broke in hundreds of pieces. Regina stood in shock before she ran out the frontdoor.

...

Yeah this will be a long story. Please tell me if you find mistakes, English isn't my native language.


End file.
